The Prostitute's Brother

THE PROSTITUTE’S BROTHER A PLAY IN TWO ACTS by Ken Gaertner 211 McCotter Drive Ann Arbor, MI 48103 Cell 734-355-1867 kengaertner@aol.com Persons In The Play: ROBERT, a man in his late twenties, early thirties LOUISE, ROBERT’s sister, in her twenties. CLARENCE, a man in his early thirties ROBIN, a woman in her early twenties CLYDE, younger than Clarence, early twenties, but mature with the eternal maturity of a psycopath. BYRON, a seminarian, friend of ROBERT ACT ONE, SCENE ONE I-I-1 SETTING: The living room of an upscale apartment somewhere on the upper east side of Manhattan. An entrance door upstage center, and two doors stage left that lead to bedrooms. A computer can be seen through the open door on downstage stage left. A kitchen stage right. AT RISE: ROBERT and his sister LOUISE arrive through the center stage door, ROBERT wheeling a piece of carry on luggage. LOUISE (indicating a door on stage left) That’s your bedroom. Put your bag in there. And don’t mind the smell. Its only perfume. Whore’s apartments don’t smell like rectories. ROBERT Louise I’m depressed. Why make it worse? LOUISE You’re depressed. I’m irritable. ROBERT Staying here is a bad idea isn’t it? LOUISE If I push you out the door are you going back to go back to the rectory and try to kill yourself again? ROBERT I_I-2 No, that’s another bad idea. LOUISE And don’t forget your promise. If you do decide to do it again you won’t do it here. ROBERT (looking around) I can’t imagine doing it here. LOUISE Imagining isn’t good enough. ROBERT I won’t do it again. Here, anyway. (HE sits on a sofa.) LOUISE You want to talk about it? ROBERT What’s to talk about? LOUISE Maybe about plowing your wrists with a razor. Why? ROBERT I should have blown my head off. Cutting one’s wrists doesn’t work that well. LOUISE If you drip blood all over the floor so that it runs under the door. You’re supposed to get in the bathtub. Don’t you go to the movies? ROBERT Not enough of them I guess. LOUISE Well, you’ll have plenty of time for movies now. ROBERT I hope I can find something better to do than sit in movies all day. LOUISE You’ll have to find a job immediately. You can only stay here a few days. ROBERT Well, that’s that. You sure you want me here tonight? LOUISE Yes, I do. And if was possible, longer. But there’s no option. Short term, the emphasis on short. ROBERT That’s OK. One night at a time. LOUISE What did Father Dombrowski say when he found you? ROBERT Holy shit! LOUISE (laughs) He said that. ROBERT (laughs) Indeed he did. LOUISE Well at least it was holy shit. ROBERT I’m sorry he found me. I really admire him. It was a profound shock to him. A spiritual shock. He couldn’t imagine a priest doing such a thing. LOUISE With all the pedophila scandal? What won’t priests do? Give me a break. ROBERT The worse the scandals became the calmer he became. I can’t explain it. He’s a holy man. He understands sin better than anybody I’ve ever met. But seeing me lying on the floor, blood all over, got to him. He was horrified. LOUISE At least he knew enough to call 911. ROBERT Too bad there was no spiritual 911 for him to call. My bodies recovering but my soul is dead. I met two holy priests and both their examples ruined me. It was like somebody put me on the field to play with the Yankees. I didn’t belong. I knew that but couldn’t figure out why I didn’t belong. If prayers were fast balls I would have won the Cy Young award every year. LOUISE Who can figure? Well yes, I can. They were too much to live up too. And I know how jealous you can be. Let anybody else get a little attention and you’re pushing your face in the way. ROBERT I think I grew out of some of that. LOUISE You tortured yourself over those two guys accomplishing something you couldn’t. ROBERT Yeah, that’s me OK. (leans back and closes his eyes) LOUISE Does the subject bore you? The reason for your attempted suicide? How indelicate of me to bring it up. ROBERT I’m sorry. I’m whipped. It’s not boredom I suffer from. That would be some feeling at least. Clinically they say its depression, but I don’t know. I don’t have enough energy to be depressed. That make any sense? LOUISE No. ROBERT Depression is supposed to be suppressed anger. But I’m not angry. Just indifferent. LOUISE Oh I don’t think suicide is ever an act of indifference. Get real. ROBERT I used to think I was a cynic. Remember me as a teenager, strutting around, putting down everything in the world, mocking your boyfriends, all the time under the delusion I was hanging tough on the streets? I thought I was the coolest son-of-bitch that ever sprawled on a stoop. I really dug hanging out, bullshitting with all the guys, flirting with the chicks, toking on weed. Until I met Father Carey. He with his soup kitchen and flop house. I used to laugh at those street people, six layers of clothes on their backs, pants hanging over their shoes, pulling a cart of some kind, full of trash. LOUISE Making fun of them and us living off welfare half the time. ROBERT Yeah, but no matter. I’d strut behind them and mock them, until Father Carey almost broke my arm making me slow down and really look at them. He made me see myself inside them. That sounds nuts but I was sane then. I’m nuts now. In the middle of all the poverty and cruelty Father Carey was the funniest guy I ever met. He blew me away. So I figured, what the hell, I’d be a saint. LOUISE Now, that was the joke. I wondered when you went to the seminary how long you’d last. Longer than I thought. Not with the best results though. ROBERT After I was ordained and they assigned me to St. Anne’s. How come you never came to see me? Never called? LOUISE My life was going in another direction. ROBERT I tried to get in the routine. It was weird. I didn’t mind being a priest. I wasn’t dissatisfied, but all of a sudden my life started to blur. I was walking through life as though each day mystified me, like each day was brand new to me and I had never experienced one before. And the more masses I celebrated the less I understood what I was doing. I’d hear myself preaching and, at the same time, I’d be praying that I didn’t lose it and start crying and blubbering. So I’d beat my head against the pew late at night, still firing my prayers like fast balls, and then life began to swirl around me as if someone was stirring it with a swizzle stick, and six months later I wound up sitting on the floor of the john with slashed wrists in my lap, my ass soaking up my own blood. I figured my physical death should match my spiritual death. LOUISE Well, you better start making plans. Wipe your bloody ass and get a move on. ROBERT If one’s history was only as dead as that in history books. LOUISE No way is the past dead. Even in books. But fuck the past. It’s the present that counts. If you can afford it that is. LOUISE (cont) Which I can. Which I made damn sure I could and would forever be able to. ROBERT Well good for you. LOUISE Yeah, good for me. And you? You going to need any money? ROBERT Sure. I never knew how to save. I’ve got a few hundred bucks. That’s it. I’m naive about money. Never had to scuffle for it I guess. Went into the seminary too young. LOUISE Quit whining. Twenty-two wasn’t too young. ROBERT Shit Louise right now I don’t know if twenty-two comes after twenty-one. And I don’t really give a damn. I wish I hadn’t bungled the suicide. LOUISE The old man running off when you were born, leaving us with that self-absorbed bitch we called a mother, was not the best programming that either one of us could have had. But I hate sob sister stuff. I said later for that a long time ago. ROBERT But you went to college. Got into all that high tech stuff. You know computers inside and out. Then you were going to be a ROBERT (cont) graphic artist. You had a decent job at Smith Barney before it folded. Why this, why prostitution? LOUISE Trust me, you wouldn’t understand. ROBERT I can’t argue that. But sometimes it occurs to me that you succeeded at suicide where I failed. LOUISE I don’t think so. You had your halo to chase. Me, I always had luxury to chase. Plus I’ve always been pissed off and raking in the bucks gave me some weird pay back pleasure. A bank full of money and a beautiful island where I could lounge in my bikini and laugh at all the men hitting on me. Not the most inspiring goal but it seemed better than anything else I had tried. So my heaven is cheap and worthless but I’m closer to it than you are to yours. You couldn’t be farther away from yours than you are now. ROBERT There’s no there to be farther from. LOUISE Well, there is a here. And don’t forget. Not here. No suicide. Go put your bag away. Then come back. I’ll go over the house rules with you. (ROBERT goes through a door, stage right.) ROBERT I ought to have my head examined. ACT ONE, SCENE ONE, IS ENDED ACT ONE SCENE TWO SETTING: A table at an expensive restaurant. AT RISE: LOUISE and CLARENCE sitting at a table, their dinner finished. CLARENCE I like the food and ambiance in this elegant restaurant Louise, but privacy was the most important part of our relationship. How long is your brother going to be at your apartment? You told me three days and its already been six. LOUISE Its hard. He just tried to kill himself. Its hard to throw him out. CLARENCE People usually do what they want to do. But you do what you’re told to do. You don’t have a lot of options. LOUISE I’m glad you agreed to meet me here. I need you to push me. If anything happens to Robert I can blame it on you. CLARENCE As if I’d care. LOUISE You know, if I did it, maybe I wouldn’t care. I’ve changed so much I wouldn’t put it past me. CLARENCE You know what your apartment costs in that building? LOUISE Sure. I do your books. Remember? CLARENCE So he’s gone. LOUISE Honest. CLARENCE Honest doesn’t exist. Don’t use that word around me again. Nothing I distrust as much as honesty. Smarts is what I trust. Knowing what’s best for oneself and those that have power over you. Then you do the right thing. LOUISE I know where the power is Clarence. Don’t think I don’t. CLARENCE Did you ever consider that he could pay a worse price than homelessness for staying with you? LOUISE Please. A little patience. There’s no payoff to you for hurting him. CLARENCE He’d avoid you. LOUISE He just tried to kill himself. Cut his wrists. CLARENCE I-II-13 He can hack his arm off for all I care. You should care enough for him to put him in a cab and send him up the street. It would be a whole lot better than a truck driving over you. Believe me that would be the worst day of your life. Discretion, discretion, discretion. That’s what I’m paying you for. LOUISE OK, I hear you. CLARENCE Get your place back girl. Its not negotiable. LOUISE What a life. I’ve put some money away. (laughs) Some of my own. Is there ever going to be a time I’ll be allowed to slow down and take a vacation? CLARENCE Yeah, that’s true. You have put some money away. When you make bucks like you do under my management you can afford to put money away. But a vacation is not an option. Neither was letting a crazy brother sponge off you an option. LOUISE He’s not crazy! Don’t say stuff like that. It drives me crazy. He’s sensitive. He has a soul. He’ll work it out. He’ll be a goddamn saint before he dies. CLARENCE Goddamn saint? LOUISE Bad choice of words. But you know what I mean. He’s clean inside. But his insides have just drifted away from him. Like a balloon some kid lets go in the street. CLARENCE And screams for mommy or daddy to get it. But they never do. LOUISE You’re right. I’m probably the worst person he could have chosen to stay with. But he didn’t have any choice. I’m all the family he has. CLARENCE That’s more than I ever had. So don’t try that boo hoo shit on me. LOUISE I’m so sick of being watched every second of my life. Christ, don’t I ever get a vacation? It’s like being in jail. CLARENCE Believe me Louise it isn’t. LOUISE Jail a little dingier than my place? CLARENCE My place! But why not take a vacation? Not now. Next month, next year. I’ll plan a good one for you. LOUISE For how long? CLARENCE I’m goddamn tired of your questions. I told you, never ask me questions. Didn’t I? LOUISE I never did before. CLARENCE I like a woman with a good memory. Its easier for her to mend her ways. LOUISE Its funny having Robert there. He makes me think of things I forgot, long ago. Clarence, do you ever worry about the state of your soul? CLARENCE I never really developed a soul. LOUISE You’re born with one. CLARENCE It died of starvation. LOUISE You think you know a lot about the world. I wonder. CLARENCE I know how you and I make our way in the world. LOUISE I’ll give him his ultimatum tonight. I’m sorry I’ve been so weak. Sentimentality is not a vice I can add to all my others. LOUISE (cont) There’s no room in me for any more vices. But whatever you do don’t take it out on him. CLARENCE Whatever you do don’t tell me what to do. LOUISE I’m sorry. CLARENCE Sorrow makes sense to me. But repentance makes more. So do the right thing. It’ll mean lots of dollars for you. To say nothing of your own health. And his. (HE reaches and fondles her hair, then he twists her ear. She winces. He leans down and kisses her forehead and exits.) ACT ONE, SCENE TWO IS ENDED ACT ONE, SCENE THREE SETTING: A bar. AT RISE: (ROBIN, a waitress is putting away washed glasses. I-III-17 ROBERT enters and sits at the bar. ROBIN turns to HIM.) ROBERT No. I wouldn’t lose a worn out line like that if I was trying to hustle you. I’ve seen you. Are you Catholic? Maybe I saw you at mass. ROBIN Me at a mass. Not likely. ROBERT I don’t have a wide circle of friends. And don’t get around a lot. Anyway I thought I had laid eyes on you before. ROBIN Dad, always said Catholics owned half the world but everybody was hungry where they ran things. ROBERT That’s insane. I never heard that one before. ROBIN That’s Dad. ROBERT I don’t know what my Dad believed. He took one look at me in the crib and disappeared. ROBIN I-III-18 Oh, sure. You remember that. ROBERT I was told. ROBIN You go to the theater? ROBERT No. ROBIN Then I don’t have an idea where you saw me. ROBERT Hah, now I know. You’re in a play up the street. You’re picture is on the poster. (spots the poster on the wall) This is the one. Nice. They had the good sense to put your picture on the poster. Ought to drum up some business. ROBIN You being a smart ass? ROBERT No, don’t stick smart of any kind on me. Not smart, but often an ass. ROBIN If you say so. ROBERT How come you work here in the day? The theatre doesn’t pay you? ROBIN I-III-19 Off-off broadway contract. Pennies. ROBERT But the next step is nickles. Right? ROBIN Right. ROBERT Unusual to find a bar without a TV on. ROBIN I can’t stand the noise. It just jabbers away up there and I go home humming some jingle for some useless product. ROBERT Some bars leave it on without the sound. ROBIN Whatever. ROBERT How come you picked bartending for a job? ROBIN Alcohol’s antiseptic. I don’t like germs. Greasy spoons are a breeding ground for germs. ROBERT Really? ROBIN I-III-20 Really what? ROBERT That’s why you chose the job? ROBIN Yes. ROBERT I like it here. Its quiet. ROBIN So do I. But this time of day is hell on the tips. ROBERT When do you get busy? ROBIN When everyone gets out of work. This quiet won’t last long. ROBERT Nobody wants TV after work? ROBIN They know the deal here. The owner wants it old style. Drink and conversation. Probably the only bar left in New York like this. I’m glad. I grew up with TV blaring from morning to night. Mom loved it. Especially game shows. It’s the monster from my childhood. I don’t need ROBIN (cont) I-III-21 it chasing me here. So I’m happy here. Our clientele likes to talk, not be talked at. ROBERT I can get hung up on sports on TV. But it always leads me exhausted. Like I quit living for a couple of hours or so. Of course in my case that isn’t so different from everyday life. (HE takes a vial of pills out and pops one in HIS mouth and washes it down with beer.) ROBIN I hope whatever you took is OK to take with beer. A lot of pills warn you not to take them with alcohol. ROBERT These are probably OK. Prozak. ROBIN I don’t know. They’re for depression. You know alcohol is a depressant? ROBERT Well, it’s a wash. I’m a depressant. The three of us, booze, pill, and me, all depressants. We’ll get along fine together. ROBIN What have you to be depressed about? ROBERT Nothing, that’s why I’m depressed. Some people’s lives ROBERT (cont) I-III-22 are miserable but they never get depressed. You ever get depressed? ROBIN No. Bored sometimes. Maybe unhappy now and then. ROBERT I’ve been unhappy at times in my life. I’d be happy to be unhappy again. ROBIN Why don’t you go to Dangerfield’s or The Comedy Club and catch the comedians? I read an article that said stand up comics are great for depression. The author thought that because most comedians are depressives it had something to do with them understanding things we don’t and they cope with them by disarming them with humor and that’s why they connect with us, even if we’re not depressed. Or something like that. But they’re great for the relief of depression. To read funny books, comics, anything to get you to laugh. ROBERT I laugh sometimes. But it doesn’t help. ROBIN Well shit, I don’t know what to say. ROBERT Would you go out with me? To dinner? Or a funny play? Or I’ll come to see your play. Is it funny? ROBIN I-III-23 I might meet you at a restaurant. Someday. I have to know a hell of a lot more about you before you get near me. For all I know you might be dangerous. ROBERT Oh god no. Only to myself. ROBIN I’ll think about it. Come see the play and then come back here someday and give me a review. But don’t hang around after the show. That would just spook me. ROBERT Thanks. Now I’ve got a reason to live. ROBIN God, you lay heavy trips on people don’t you. I’ve got enough to deal with on my own without worrying about whether I’m somebody’s reason to live. ROBERT I’m sorry. Relax. The biggest problem you’ll get from me is a liberal use of cliches. ROBIN You should try your hand at writing scripts. BLACKOUT. ACT ONE, SCENE THREE IS ENDED. I-IV-24 ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR SETTING: LOUISE’S APARTMENT. AT RISE: ROBERT opens the door and enters. At the same time CLYDE opens the door from LOUISE’s bedroom and comes into the living room. CLYDE is carrying a briefcase. THEY stop and appraise each other. ROBERT Didn’t mean to get in your way. I’m coming in, you’re coming out and forever those two will meet. CLYDE She’ll be right out. ROBERT You better let her know I’m home, to make herself decent. CLYDE Oh, I’m sure she’ll be decent when she comes out. ROBERT Which wasn’t what she was when she was in there? Right? CLYDE I-IV-25 I thought this was her apartment. Did I go next door by mistake? If I did it was sure a fortunate mistake. ROBERT Sir, I think maybe you’ve arrived at the wrong destination a long time ago. CLYDE Maybe one room of it. ROBERT What do you do? For a living? CLYDE Do for a living? What do I do for a living? Now shit, you’ve got me. I never gave it a thought. I just breathe in and breathe out, eat, shit, sleep. That’s it. You on another program? ROBERT No, we’re a lot alike. CLYDE That’s touching. ROBERT Is she expensive? My sister. CLYDE I don’t know. I think she’s good value but she may charge a little more for incest. ROBERT I-IV-26 Louise, nothing in your life pointed in the direction of people like this man. What the hell happened? CLYDE Clarence told me you would be gone for good. I told him you looked like a free loader we’d have to evict. ROBERT Who’s Clarence? Her pimp? CLYDE Such colorful language. ROBERT I’m not blocking your way out am I? CLYDE I thought you were off boring friends. ROBERT I decided to change my plans. CLYDE Don’t you think you should have told her? You could get hurt running into rooms unexpected. ROBERT God almighty Sis. Now I have to report to thugs. CLYDE I-IV-27 Well, times up for bullshit. Clarence is not going to like what happened here. ROBERT Clarence sounds like some deity. Can he levitate? Throw lightning bolts? (LOUISE comes into the room from the bedroom.) LOUISE You two have met I see. (There is dead silence.) CLYDE You’re messing a good thing up girl. Too good looking for that. Bruises wouldn’t go well with your facial cream. Wake up. LOUISE It was a misunderstanding. It won’t happen again. CLYDE It won’t. It better won’t. LOUISE (hysterical, to ROBERT) I thought you were going to see a friend for a couple of days. ROBERT I came back early. They already had plans for the weekend. LOUISE I-IV-28 You didn’t call them ahead of time? You selfish idiot. Why didn’t you call me? You couldn’t have let me know? ROBERT I should have. CLYDE I have to go. LOUISE I’m sorry about this. God, please don’t punish me. Honest, it won’t ever happen again. CLYDE You know how much sorry is worth? Count it up. (CLYDE exits.) LOUISE (angry, frantic) You have to leave here. You’ve got to find something. ROBERT Calm down. LOUISE You’re not hearing me. You’ve got to find something. (SHE goes back into her room, and returns with a fistful of cash.) LOUISE (cont) You’ve got to take this. (HE tries to refuse. SHE stuffs the money I-IV-29 into HIS hand.) LOUISE (cont) This is not generosity. Its emergency money. You’ve got to get out of here. Understand? Got to. Wait a minute. (SHE goes to her computer and retrieves a package of discs.) LOUISE (cont) Take these. They are very important. I want you to keep them safe. If in the future there’s any reason you think you should get into the data then use your discretion. But only in an emergency. Well wait, you won’t be able to make sense of the data. If you ever need to get in, get an expert who knows how to keep his mouth shut and retrieve what you find. An expert expert. Understand? ROBERT Are you afraid of those guys? LOUISE Yes. Do you understand what I just said? ROBERT I’ll take them. They’re not porno films of you are they? Taken with somebody for the purpose of blackmail? LOUISE God damn it. You little minded shit. A fucking three year old. You know nothing about this life, nothing. Just get the fuck out of here, and take those discs with you, before I’m dead, killed for harboring a self-obsessed idiot. ROBERT I-IV-30 I’ll be out of here this week. I’ll get a hotel room. I never should have come here. If I wasn’t depressed your life sure would have depressed me. I wouldn’t have thought you’d end up like this in a million years. LOUISE (pushing him towards the door) You be out of here right now. And fuck you and your concern about my rotten life. We can’t all be successful like you. CLYDE At least I’m not a whore. How can you do it? LOUISE At least I’m not a parasite. How can you do it? CLYDE Being a parasite is the easiest job in the world. You don’t have to do shit. Being a whore must be the hardest. Or is hardest the wrong adjective to use to a whore. LOUISE You prick. ROBERT Oh, forget it. I’ll be gone in the morning. I’ll pack tonight. LOUISE I-IV-31 You are gone now. CLYDE Should I let you know what hotel I’m at? LOUISE Give me a call in a week. Let me calm down. You think you know what you’re talking about but you don’t. But I’m not going to go into it. Not now. Maybe never. CLYDE Someday you’ll tell me why you became a whore? And I’ll tell you why I became a nothing. No, wait, better not. We both better just shut up and forget it. LOUISE I figured out what I had to do and didn’t have to do a long time ago. Everybody thinks they’re so superior to me. When LOUISE (cont) they find out they were a bunch of fucking idiots it’ll be too late for them. They can sit the rest of their lives staring in the mirror at their face with shit on it. CLYDE Well, I won’t be one of them. I never look in mirrors anymore. It hasn’t been me in there for a long time. BLACKOUT ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR IS OVER ACT ONE SCENE FIVE I-V-32 SETTING: A table in a restaurant. AT RISE: ROBERT and ROBIN at a table drinking coffee. ROBIN So you live with your sister? ROBERT No, I moved out. I just took a studio apartment midtown. A temporary by the month deal. ROBIN That’s got to be better than living with your sister. ROBERT Her life is too busy. ROBIN You got enough money to hang out for awhile? ROBERT Yes. I’m not busted. Got a little over three grand. ROBIN Won’t last long. What do you plan on doing. Work, I mean. ROBERT I don’t know. ROBIN I-V-33 You don’t know. What do you mean? ROBERT I studied theology. ROBIN What’s that? Something about God right? ROBERT Something about God. That guarantees you’re unemployable. ROBIN My mother and father weren’t anything. I mean religious, or God, or stuff like that. ROBERT I used to be a priest. ROBIN We had those in our neighborhood. A Catholic church. ROBERT I worked in one of those. ROBIN Does it pay good? ROBERT No. But its all right. All your expenses are paid. ROBIN I-V-34 Don’t I wish mine were. But it doesn’t matter. Well, yes it does. But it gives me a chance to do what I want to do. Act. ROBERT You want fame and fortune? ROBIN Sure. But that isn’t all. I love acting. I just love the bajesus out of acting. I don’t let directors know too much of what I feel. They would think I’m pretentious. But its like, I don’t know, like creating a whole new person, like giving birth. Like you know this person you’re going to play has never existed before and you’re going to give her birth. You try this, you try that, and I just love the process. When I’m alone at night learning my lines I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. ROBERT Giving birth without trudging around for nine months with a big belly. Sounds like a good trade off. ROBIN You stare at the words on the page, and you know, I never admitted it before, but I talk to the character. Like she’s somewhere in the room waiting to be ROBIN (cont) I-V-35 born, wanting to tell me secrets. Oh, I think, let this woman take birth in me. Is that a prayer? I wait, let her reveal herself. Who is she? Shy? Aggressive? Maybe. I don’t know, but I will know when she reveals it. Seems silly but acting is more than work to me. Do I sound pretentious? ROBERT Not at all. I’m impressed. In theology you’d be invoking the Holy Spirit. ROBIN That’s too awesome for me. I’ll stick to my little desires. ROBERT They don’t sound little to me. ROBIN Meanwhile I work at the bar. ROBERT I have to find something. ROBIN What don’t you tend bar? ROBERT Never thought of it. What’s it pay? ROBIN I-V-36 Not bad. If you work in a place where they tip good. ROBERT I could draw beer but I don’t know anything about mixing cocktails. ROBIN Its mostly beer. Some whiskey, straight and mixed. Rum and Coke that’s not hard. The few martinis and manhattans we get you could learn in a jiffy. Besides people don’t get mad when you don’t know how to mix their drink. They’ll tell you. They like being on the cutting edge and training a bartender. ROBERT They’re hiring? ROBIN Yes. ROBERT Same shift as you. ROBIN Not likely. ROBERT I’d never see you if I worked another shift. ROBIN Sure you would. You might work days. I work ROBIN (cont) I-V-37 afternoons. Our free time is ours. ROBERT You get off at four PM I’d get off at two AM. I’m dead tired. You had a show after working all day. You’re dead tired. How would I ever get to know you? ROBIN Maybe getting to know one another is a bad idea. ROBERT Maybe I can get a job with the same shift as yours. A hotel clerk, security, something. ROBIN Maybe. ROBERT How much is your apartment a month? ROBIN Fifteen hundred dollars. Its rent controlled. ROBERT That’s what I’m paying. ROBIN We have something in common. ROBERT I-V-38 I’ll get a job, move in and pay half. We save a seven hundred fifty dollars apiece. What do you say? ROBIN Not a chance. Too soon. My studio apartment’s too small. No, just be cool for awhile. I’m afraid of strangers I told you. You’re still a stranger. Christ, you could have AIDs. ROBERT You seem to have a lot of fears. ROBIN Mom, used to say I packed them in my lunch box to take to school. Acting gets me out of it though. I don’t have an ounce of stage fright. Sleet against the window will keep me tossing and turning all night, nervous and fidgety. I’m even edgy when the refrigerator starts humming at night. ROBERT Take my word for it. The yogurt isn’t going to attack you. ROBIN Fear doesn’t have to make sense. Mine never do. ROBERT God, I haven’t felt this good since I don’t know when. Must be a good wine. ACT ONE, SCENE FIVE IS OVER I-VI-39 ACT ONE, SCENE SIX SETTING: LOUISE’s apartment. AT RISE: CLARENCE is pacing up and down, agitated. LOUISE comes out of HER bedroom. CLARENCE I just found out. They called me in and let me know. How could I have been so fucking dumb? Jesus it wasn’t trust. I just thought you were too fucking smart to act stupid. But you’re nothing but a dumb whore after all. A dumb fucking whore whose twat was so tight it clamped down on all kinds of our money. LOUISE What are you talking about? CLARENCE (hits HER) Don’t try that dumb broad shit with me. You cunt. Where did you store our money? LOUISE You’ve got all the records. What are you talking about? CLARENCE I-VI-40 God, bitch, I hate the sight of your face, that dumb wide eyed routine you’re playing at. It just pisses me off. So fucking dumb. Dumb act, dumb thievery. Ninety nine per cent of the money you stashed away doesn’t come from prostitution. You know that. You haven’t turned a trick in two years. There aren’t that many whores in New York that could bring in the kind of money I gave you. As though I have to tell you all this. Man, I got a headache. LOUISE I only borrowed some of it. A little. I invested it. It’ll double you’ll see. CLARENCE I wouldn’t have seen it. You steal anymore? You fucking thief. I swear to God. I’m getting senile in my old age. You do know that one penny stolen from us is a death sentence? LOUISE I’ll return it to you. CLARENCE Oh yes, you will. All eight hundred thousand of it. With interest. Nine hundred thousand. LOUISE I don’t have nine hundred thousand dollars. If you let it ride for a month I’ll have it. CLARENCE I-VI-41 (hits HER hard and knocks her down) Goddamnit. How I hate a negotiating broad. Negotiating without a chip in her twat. Every fucking body I ever met was a liar but the worst is a lying fucking broad, a fucking whore. LOUISE I’ll get it all back for you. I’ll make you so much in the future you’ll think that eight hundred thousand is pennies. (SHE staggers to her feet.) I’ll make you a ton of money Clarence. Just, please, don’t hit me again. If I don’t have any brains left I’m useless to you. CLARENCE Don’t hit you again? (grabs HER by the throat) Now you tell me how to run my business? After rifling the till you tell me how to run my business? Hitting you is my business. Fuck your brain. (HE shakes HER violently, and hits HER hard again, but in the stomach. SHE falls to the ground. He spits on HER. SHE crawls to the kitchen.) CLARENCE (cont) From this moment on you’re my slave sweetheart. No fucking vacation, no fucking life, just work. We’ll get that bright brain of yours plugged into the right sockets again and the plug stays in. And you’ll turn so many tricks you’re pussy will throb with its I-VI-42 own migraine headache. No pussy retirement. (LOUISE pulls HERSELF up to the counter and takes a butcher knife out of the rack.) CLARENCE (cont) You’ve got to be kidding. You’re going to slice me up. You can hardly stand. God, you’re so beautiful it’s a shame I have to put you in pig row. But your talents will still make me some good change and that pathetic knife is not going to change that. You’ll never touch a cent of ours again. That job is over. But you are going to fuck girl. You are going to fuck and fuck until the bank won’t be able to hold my money. LOUISE I wasn’t that far from floating free of you. You’d never have found me. CLARENCE Well, here you are. Not hiding at all. LOUISE But not going into slavery either. CLARENCE Whore, you don’t have any choice. LOUISE There are ways to escape. (SHE points the knife at her stomach.) CLARENCE I-VI-43 You’re going to kill yourself? I don’t think so. LOUISE You’ve never been very good at thinking Clarence. CLARENCE What do you win by doing that? LOUISE Freedom. CLARENCE Look, I’m mad. You drove me nuts by your treating me like a chump. I said a lot that doesn’t necessarily have to happen. Get the money back to us and leave town. All that’s important is the money. Everything else is nothing. LOUISE Oh Robert, you beautiful, incompetent fool of a brother. Of all places to come carrying suicide in your suitcase was my place. My poor, innocent, self-absorbed, without a clue brother. To me you came for salvation. CLARENCE Don’t start talking nutty now. LOUISE (drops to her knees and places the knife against her stomach as though she was a geisha girl committing ritual suicide.) CLARENCE I-VI-44 If I have to take that knife away from you I’m going to have to break some bones. Be reasonable. (LOUISE plunges the knife into her stomach, and pulls it across, and falls to the floor. He moves to her and kneels down. CLARENCE (cont) What did you do that for? You were never nuts before. (He stands up. HIS hands are full of blood.) CLARENCE (cont) My God woman look at this. I never saw so much blood. Where in the hell are you getting all that blood? (HE wipes HIS hands on HIS shirt.) Man, what a mess this is. What the hell am I going to tell the bosses? Whore, you really fucked this up. Christ, what can I tell the bosses? Nothing. There’s nothing I can tell them. (HE quickly leaves the apartment.) BLACKOUT ACT ONE IS OVER II-I-45 ACT TWO, SCENE ONE SETTING: ROBIN’s apartment. AT RISE: ROBIN and ROBERT sitting at her kitchen table. ROBERT Why did I let her stay there? I should have insisted she quit. ROBIN Would she have gone with you? You and the two hundred bucks you said you had when you got there? ROBERT All I did was mess up her life, take her money, and leave. ROBIN I think you’re feeling guilty for nothing. They didn’t kill her because you stayed there four or five days two weeks ago. You had nothing to do with it. And don’t equivocate. You just have a guilt complex. ROBERT The police found over twenty three thousand in cash and a bank account in which she had over eight hundred thousand dollars. The police said it’ll go to me. ROBIN III-I-46 Wow. Where did she get that kind of money? ROBERT I don’t have the slightest idea. I didn’t know . . . prostitutes ..... made that kind of money. ROBIN I’ve heard of some high-priced prostitutes but that seems a bit much. ROBERT She was such a smart girl. All A’s. I don’t know how she ended up being a . . . . . whore. ROBIN She was still a person. People are people no matter what. ROBERT One of her john’s made her do it. Some sicko got his thrills that way and made her do it. It has to be that. Nothing else makes any sense. ROBIN It’s a dangerous profession. You see this stuff in the paper all the time. ROBERT God why did I leave her apartment? She said I was a good parasite. But she was wrong. I’m an incompetent parasite. Otherwise she’d still be alive, standing in her living room shouting at me. ROBIN II-I-47 You don’t know that. ROBERT No, I don’t. ROBIN You can’t go back into depression. I won’t let you. ROBERT How am I going to make this up to her? ROBIN You aren’t. That’s not what you’re going to spend the rest of your life doing. Making up. You’re going to find a future and stick it in your pocket and walk away with it. Just keep your eyes clear of tears and keep walking. ROBERT (embracing HER) Oh God, I’d like to put you in my pocket and walk into the future. ROBIN I’m too big for your pocket. But I’ll hold your hand. ROBERT That seems just about as sweet a future as I can imagine. ACT TWO, SCENE ONE IS ENDED II-II-48 ACT TWO, SCENE TWO SETTING: ROBERT’S hotel room. AT RISE: CLYDE knocks on door. ROBERT Just a minute. CLYDE (to HIMSELF) Ah, if it was only a minute of your life. ROBERT (opens the door.) Oh no, what are you doing here? CLYDE We need to talk. ROBERT You guys ruined her life. Ruined it enough that she threw it away. CLYDE She ruined her life when she stole our money. ROBERT The first cowardly step I took when I left the rectory at St. Anne’s set all this in motion. But one can ROBERT (cont) II-II-49 never retract his footsteps. The minute I walked out the door her life was over. Little did I know. CLYDE I don’t have time for speeches. There’s a matter of money. ROBERT I might just as well have killed her myself. CLYDE Look, get the money to me and this will be over. You’ll get over your grief. Life will go on. You’ve got yourself a new honey. ROBERT You know that? CLYDE A lot of money is involved. I have to know that. ROBERT What money? CLYDE The money she left you. ROBERT I didn’t even know she had that much money. CLYDE II-II-50 Eight hundred grand. That’s a lot of fucking secrets. ROBERT It was Louise’s money. CLYDE How fucking dumb can you get? ROBERT Yeah sure. It was in her name, in her accounts. How dumb can I be? I think you’re mixed up. Notice I didn’t say dumb. Mixed up. CLYDE Best to get the money to us fast. You wouldn’t want interest to pile up. ROBERT Man, you’re crazy. CLYDE It wasn’t her money chump. And she wasn’t a whore. She was a retired whore. She had more valuable assets. She was one of our banks. You know how clean she kept her apartment and herself. Well she laundered our money too. And managed to store some of the soap in her own private accounts. The people that used her talents didn’t use them for that. They don’t stand for that. ROBERT II-II-51 I don’t want a penny of it. Its blood money in the very real sense. CLYDE Oh, you are the preachiest phony I ever met. You are living on her money. She didn’t kick you out broke. ROBERT I’m not giving you a cent. CLYDE Dead people don’t enjoy money. ROBERT You going to kill all the poor? That’s who is going to get it. CLYDE I might have the energy to kill all of them. You never know. ROBERT Look, not that long ago I was this far from killing myself. So back off. And if you kill me who gets the money? I sure as hell am not going to will it to you. CLYDE I’ll just have to figure something out. Seems like checkmate but you know, I think I’d kill myself if I thought you were bribing God with our cash. So I don’t want to put myself in that position. I’ll have to figure something out. ROBERT II-II-52 You do that. I don’t give a damn. Come back and kill me. I’ll make a will out and the money will be where you won’t be able to touch it. Maybe I’ll leave it to The Police Athletic League. You could go watch some of their games between murders. CLYDE I’m not an emotional man. You’re lucky. But business is business. And business keeps me from indulging myself and beating you into a bloody lump. See, there’s no pleasure allowed a good businessman. And such bad press we get. (HE leaves.) ACT TWO, SCENE TWO IS ENDED ACT TWO, SCENE III SETTING: ROBIN’s apartment. AT RISE: ROBIN and ROBERT sitting at HER kitchen table. ROBIN I can’t believe all this is happening to you. Its weird. What are you going to do? ROBERT What can I do? ROBIN II-III-53 I mean are you going to spend the money. Won’t they hurt you if you do that? ROBERT Its dope money, or contract murder money, or loan sharking. Something brutal and shitty. I can’t spend it but I can give it away. Those bastard’s aren’t going to get it. ROBIN I feel like I’m in a play. But I don’t know my lines. ROBERT I don’t know mine either. ROBIN You should leave the city. Just disappear for awhile. ROBERT That won’t help. Where would I go? What would I do? I have you here. I’m not depressed when I’m around you. And I’m not depressed when I think of them. Too angry. No, I’m coming alive and I’m not going to some wasteland and hide and end up blowing my brains out. ROBIN Jesus, you’ve got to quit coming here. They’re liable to burst in and kill you. And me too. They’d have to. ROBERT II-III-54 They won’t kill me. They’d never get the money that way. But I will quit coming here. Until this mess is over. I know how your fears wrap their arms around you. I’d rather it was my arms around you, but I’ll be back. Is that OK. ROBIN You don’t have to go. Don’t let me kick you out. I mean you can’t stay all night. We can’t do anything. I’ve got to worry about AIDS and stuff. Gonorrhea is even making a comeback. ROBERT I’m not a dirty test tube you know. ROBIN But stay awhile. I feel nutty. And I feel like you need me. I can’t kick you out. I want to but I can’t. Jeez, I never had to make decisions like these before. ROBERT (embraces HER) Oh man, I’ll just give them their money back. To hell with it. I’ll give them their money back and be done with it. ROBIN They’ll leave you alone then? ROBERT Why wouldn’t they? Can we make love? Please. ROBIN II-III-55 No way. ROBERT I’m a virgin. I can’t have AIDS. Or Gonorrhea. Or shanks, or syphilis. It would be wonderful to make love. Don’t you think so? In the middle of all this crap to do something beautiful. We’d be standing up for life. Isn’t that important? ROBIN I’m not going to bed with you. Not for a long time. This whole relationship is too screwy. I’m sorry but I don’t find danger erotic. When this is all over, maybe. But not with my body trembling like my rickety refrigerator. But hold me. I’m scared. I don’t want to be alone, even if I don’t want you here. ROBERT (embraces HER) I meet Catholic girls I could bed in a minute. But no. I meet an atheist who insists on protecting her virtue. ROBIN You don’t even have any prophylactics do you? ROBERT No. ROBIN II-III-56 You’re really dumb about the world. ROBERT Humor me. ROBIN Just hold me. Until I stop shaking. Then hit the road. ROBERT You’re starting to relax. But don’t hurry it. I’ve got all night. ACT TWO, SCENE III IS ENDED. ACT TWO, SCENE FOUR SETTING: ROBERT’s hotel room. The hotel lobby. CLYDE at the house phone. AT RISE: ROBERT reading a book in bed. The phone rings. ROBERT Hello. CLYDE I’ve got interesting news for you. Exciting stuff. Made page one of the New York Post and Daily News both. I’ll be up with a copy. ROBERT II-III-57 Come on. (After an interval, CLYDE enters.) CLYDE Early to bed, early to rise? ROBERT Why the hell are you bothering me here? I was going to call you. CLYDE You seemed the stubborn type to me. I thought you’d need some coaxing. ROBERT You’re too impatient. I thought you guys were supposed to be cool. CLYDE Being cool is not the same as being patient. (hands ROBERT the paper.) ROBERT (shocked, unable to comprehend) You did this? CLYDE No. How could I? I’ve got witnesses. I couldn’t have done it. . But I thought this news might motivate you if you saw it. ROBERT II-III-58 Father Dombrowski murdered. Found dead in the rectory. How did you get in the rectory? What lie did you tell him to get in? CLYDE Hey, does it matter. If you have to make your confession it doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Right? The funny thing is, before I killed him, I confessed that I killed him. Does a confession like that count? Am I home free? ROBERT Just kill me. I’m not walking away from his murder. Just kill me now. If you don’t I’m reporting what you said to the police. I’ve got to. I owe it to him. CLYDE Look if I thought you had that choice I wouldn’t have stopped by. Just have the money to me by tomorrow. ROBERT Kill me. But you won’t make a dime off it. You pant after money like a mongrel after a pile of garbage. If there’s no garbage connected to me then you’ll be off to another garbage can. CLYDE How did you ever get through the seminary? You’re as useless as a computer in a retards school. ROBERT II-III-59 You had to kill him. For nothing For nothing. CLYDE Hint. Hint. Listen. Hint. And she had such a promising career. Not really, but that’s the way the papers will run it. Talented actress bows out of play and into a coffin. What I don’t do for newspaper circulation in this city. ROBERT Ah, so that’s it. You keep killing my loved ones until I turn the money over. CLYDE Hooray for you. A burst of light in the dense brain. Buy a wheeled suitcase. We’ll make the rounds to the banks and fill it up. No electronic transfers, not certified checks, just plain old cash. Then I’ll wheel away and you’ll marry the beautiful actress and be a gopher in Hollywood for the rest of your life. Meet me here in the lobby at ten AM. With a wheely. And don’t let your conscience keep you awake all night so you do something nuts. Just remember. The longer you wait the more your friends fall into an early grave. (CLYDE exits.) ROBERT Sis, Monsignor, what have I done to you? If you can’t find it in your spirit to pray for me then who II-IV-60 can I ask? Somebody, please, protect Robin from my enemies. No, not from my enemies. From myself. ACT TWO, SCENE FOUR IS ENDED ACT TWO, SCENE FIVE SETTING: ROBERT’s room. AT RISE: CLYDE enters, knocks. ROBERT opens the door. ROBERT Come in. (Clyde enters.) ` ROBERT (cont) We can go. I’ll draw the money out. CLYDE There’s an accounting problem that’s come up. ROBERT What? CLYDE Eight hundred grand is a little short of what should be in the till. So far its gone up to two million one that’s short. That’s of today. ROBERT II-IV-61 Man, I can’t believe this. CLYDE I’m only the messenger. But obviously I have it from good sources. Like the boss. ROBERT I only have the eight hundred thousand. CLYDE So you say. ROBERT Look. I’m not interested in the money. Money’s not my life. Two people I loved are dead. I just want the killing stopped. That’s all, nothing else. CLYDE Money does weird things to people. Makes them act out of character. Just watch the old ladies at the slot machines. Lust, anger, hope. Disgusting. ROBERT My vision is not distorted. CLYDE We’re going to have to find all the missing money. Any ideas? ROBERT II-IV-62 No. I can go through all her papers again. But you went through them yourself. You know what was there. CLYDE She was given a lot more than eight hundred grand. In fact she was given a lot more than the two million one that’s missing. Lots more. That’s how she was able to dazzle us with the numbers. She gave electronic deposit slips to the boss. Most were legitimate. Some were false. As she was a computer whiz we clods were at her mercy. Even the idiot we had as her backup missed it. And he was an ex-con that did five years for computer fraud. No dummy. Your sister was some brilliant whore. Never saw anything like it. But our new guy is better. He knows its gone but not where its gone to. ROBERT She was that smart? CLYDE That’s why the boss set her up. Kept the books looking as trim and clean as a nun’s underwear and all the time she was shitting our money out the back into a waiting truck. Some accounts somewhere. Probably in Arabia. You’ll have to find them. This money won’t be kissed off. ROBERT II-IV-63 I don’t have a clue. I realize how much I didn’t know about her. CLYDE Just sit on that two million one. The bosses have some thinking to do. ROBERT God, will this ever end? CLYDE Oh, it’ll end. Just hope you’re around to see it. ACT TWO, SCENE FIVE IS ENDED ACT TWO, SCENE SIX SETTING: A bar. AT RISE: ROBIN sitting alone at a table. ROBERT enters. ROBERT I wish you were out of this city. ROBIN Jesus. I’ve got a call back to go to. A decent part. Off-Broadway. It’s a wonderful part for me. Good stuff could follow. And I’d be paid a living wage for a change. ROBERT II-VI-64 There’s more money missing. My sister was some slick chick. Too slick. When they figured out she was stealing from them they beat the shit out of her. She must have ended it because she saw her future welded to those beasts. But they found out she stole a lot more than eight hundred thousand and now they need me to stick around until they get the books straight and I retrieve the money. I don’t know how she managed it. She was a computer genius. So they say. I can barely check my e mail. ROBIN She sure had guts. ROBERT I’m glad she was no longer a whore. ROBIN So am I. ROBERT I wonder what she was going to do with the money. Go away some day. Disappear. Hard to do. ROBIN I wouldn’t have a clue. I never stole a penny in my life. Never wanted to. ROBERT I wonder if I should spend any of that eight thousand. ROBIN II-VI-65 You better not touch it. What did you want to buy? ROBERT I don’t know. Something. Some box that was full of bright ideas. ROBIN Some things you just can’t buy. ROBERT (brightens) Maybe there is. ACT TWO, SCENE SIX IS ENDED ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN SETTING: ROBERT in an unknown location. AT RISE: ROBERT sitting and talking with BYRON, a young man, a seminarian. ROBERT We had to meet here. You can’t be seen. BYRON How come you quit your parish? ROBERT I was a lousy priest. BYRON II-VII-66 I heard you were losing it for awhile. You meet a woman? ROBERT Not before I left. Since I left. BYRON You left a fine parish and a fine priest. I hope she’ll prove worthy of it. ROBERT I don’t know how long we’ll be together. Its complicated. BYRON Still big on the cliches Father Morton. ROBERT My vocation. I’ve got a job for you to do if you will. But secrecy is important. Extremely important. The mob is involved. BYRON How did you get mixed up in the mob? ROBERT My sister was involved with them. She was a retired prostitute. They found she had better talents than her body. So she laundered their money for them but stuck it in this maze that they are now at work ROBERT (cont) II-VII-67 trying to figure out how much she stole and where it is. They killed Father Dombrowski to motivate me to turn over the eight hundred thousand dollars Louise left. But since then a lot more is missing. BYRON That stuff is damn near impossible to hack. I’m on top of the game but its probably beyond me. ROBERT She gave me discs. BYRON Ah. ROBERT In the beginning I refused to give them the eight hundred thousand she had left me. I had no idea they’d kill Father Dombrowski. They wanted to let me know that as long as I kept the money friends of mine would keep being killed. But now everything is on hold. She stole a lot more money and they’re in the process of figuring out how much and where it is. I want you to find all that missing money, set up an account for me, and put it there. I want you to transfer the money, two million one, from her account into the account I just set up. And any more that you can find and pry loose. BYRON Under what section of canon law or moral theology do I justify this? ROBERT II-VII-68 Under the theology of saving lives. I don’t want the money. I’ll give it all away. I just want to get them out of my life and not leave my friends in jeopardy. BYRON OK. I’ll do it for Father Dombrowski. Where’s her computer? ROBERT I don’t have that. I’ve got the discs. She gave them to me before I left. I assume that Clarence took the computer. BYRON Who’s Clarence? ROBERT A man who would kill you if he ever finds out you were involved. So no discussing it with the other seminarians. Not a word. I’m not kidding. He’d kill you in a minute. And maybe some others just for the pleasure of it. But I know what a computer genius you are and I don’t have any other solution. BYRON I’m not one to share secrets. A closed mouth is the best training for hearing confessions. ROBERT You think you can figure it out and snatch the money for me. BYRON II-VII-69 It won’t be a piece of cake. But with the Holy Spirit guiding me I’d bet on it. ROBERT Tell me who, or what organization, you’d like to receive a private donation. That’s the only way to pay you. BYRON I’ll use the Public Library’s computer. In case they trace it backwards after the money is lifted. ROBERT I know nothing about computers. BYRON What a blessing. Not the kind of training one expects in a seminary but a piece of the world that would be off limits for me under any other circumstances. ROBERT You guys. Who can figure? ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN IS OVER ACT TWO, SCENE EIGHT SETTING: ROBIN’s apartment. AT RISE: ROBIN and ROBERT sitting, talking. II-VIII-70 ROBIN I’m having anxiety attacks. Oh, I’m so afraid that I’m going to blow the part. I finally get a part and I’m going to be murdered before I can play it. ROBERT There’s no way they are going to murder you. They know it won’t get them the money. ROBIN They do not know that. You’ve messed everything up and you’re going to mess it up worse. ROBERT I’m taking it all with me. My computer contact will let them know the money is gone and I’m gone. ROBIN Where are you going? ROBERT I won’t tell you. ROBIN I am so glad I didn’t go to bed with you. You’ve sucked me into a black hole and now you leave. They won’t only kill me. They’ll torture me. ROBERT You’ll see. It’ll be all over. They’ll have no interest in you. The only kill for money and your not worth a dime to them. ROBIN II-VIII-71 You walk away from me just like that? ROBERT No, not just like that. I may be walking into a dark pit. ROBIN That’s where you’re the most comfortable. ROBERT Listen your life is going to go very well. And mine? Well mine has never gone very well. Even if I could stay here I wouldn’t. In two months you’d wonder just what the hell to do with me. You’ve got a good role, in a good play, and the theater world will swallow you up. I’d be an underachiever, making small talk with my cliches, hanging around looking stupid. ROBIN Those killers won’t wonder what to do with me. ROBERT Its all over I tell you. ROBIN I love the part. Not only do I get a break but it’s a part that I love. Oh shit, why does this have to happen to me? I’m going to blow it. I know I’m going to blow it. And then what. Sitting here depressed waiting to get murdered. Jesus, a week ago I was sane, happy. ROBERT II-VIII-72 Robin, listen to me. Its all over I tell you. All over. ROBIN Like you’ve ever been right. ROBERT There’s nothing more I can say. ROBIN Oh, get out of here. I’ve got to learn my lines. After they kill me maybe my ghost can recite them. (ROBERT leaves. ROBIN picks up a script and hanging onto it without reading it begins to rehearse.) ROBIN (cont) Sam. Look. The sun over the lake. It doesn’t seem like it knows whether to set or to rise. And that’s his white boat, isn’t it?” (ROBIN breaks down crying whether from the script or her life we do not know.) END ACT TWO, SCENE EIGHT ACT TWO, SCENE NINE SETTING: An outside table at a restaurant. Two bottles of beer and glasses on the table. AT RISE: CLARENCE and CLYDE sitting, drinking. CLARENCE II-IX-73 So the son-of-a-bitch e mailed the company. He took it all. They wouldn’t even tell me how much. They couldn’t get it out of their mouths. CLYDE We’ll find him. CLARENCE Oh no, we won’t. We’re finished. CLYDE No chance to make it up. CLARENCE You worth twenty million? CLYDE To me. CLARENCE Not to them. CLYDE No, not to them. CLARENCE I tried explaining to them. They didn’t want to hear. CLYDE That’s because there is no explanation. CLARENCE II-IX-74 I’ve seen a lot of death from the other side of the room. It never bothered me. Strangely mine does. CLYDE I never imagined mine wouldn’t bother me. CLARENCE If I had any idea on where to go. CLYDE Oh, I’m going. CLARENCE Where? Colombia? (laughs) CLYDE You don’t expect me to tell you do you? CLARENCE Hell no. CLYDE But they’ll find me. CLARENCE Maybe not. CLYDE II-IX-75 They will. Because old habits are hard to break. My MO will get back to them. CLARENCE Change your MO. CLYDE What? Sell shoes? Wait tables? I’d rather be dead. CLARENCE I’m staying here. CLYDE You always wanted to die here. CLARENCE Well I preferred to live here. But sometimes one doesn’t have a choice. Man to let a cunt like that take you out. It just grinds the shit out of me. CLYDE (stands) You buying? CLARENCE Hell no. But go. I ain’t paying this fucking restaurant either. CLYDE (leaving) See ya. CLARENCE II-X-76 Don’t be a wise guy. ACT TWO, SCENE NINE IS OVER ACT TWO, SCENE TEN SETTING: A nondescript room. AT RISE: ROBERT pacing. A knock on the door. ROBERT opens the door and lets BYRON in. ROBERT You were careful. Nobody knows what’s up? BYRON Father, with gangsters involved I’m not saying anything to anybody. ROBERT (hands BYRON an envelope.) Get this to whomever you want. But they mustn’t know where it came from. Then put all this behind you. BYRON II-X-77 One more year and then I’m ordained. ROBERT I hope you make a better priest than I did. BYRON Father, you’re still a priest. You didn’t get defrocked. ROBERT I don’t feel like a priest. I don’t think I ever did. BYRON Well, like you told me, put it all behind you. ROBERT You know Byron, I plan on doing that. I don’t know how but I will. BYRON Maybe we’ll meet up again. ROBERT II-X-78 I won’t say yes and I won’t say no. I’m all out of predictions about life. BYRON You know I was able to get you a little over two million. But that wasn’t one tenth of what was in there. Following her computer trail was like wandering in a universe full of black holes. I don’t think some of that money, maybe most, will ever be found. And the names for the accounts that popped up. Vile. Blasphemous. It was like she wanted to destroy most of that money. ROBERT Makes sense to me. More anger in her, than greed. BYRON You may be right. It was an emotional explosion all right in cyber space. Brilliant, crafty, but irrational. ROBERT I miss her. How come we become so attached to those we have nothing in common with? BYRON II-X-79 One of the seventy six trillion mysteries about this life of ours. Have you got yourself together? You going to be all right? ROBERT I don’t know. I’m not brimming with confidence. But I was thinking. Years ago Father got me to see my self in the poor. Maybe this time I’ll be able to find God in the poor. A richer prize than finding myself. BYRON You know I won’t be hard to find. If you need me come knocking. But no more money retrieval. ROBERT I doubt that I’ll ever have any money to retrieve. (shakes hands) God Bless. BYRON God Bless. (BYRON leaves.) ROBERT Oh Africa. Pray for yourself. I’m coming. Will I wreak destruction on you too? I hope not. Let’s ROBERT (cont) 11-X-80 hope you’ll be graceful enough to dodge my stumbling. BLACKOUT THE PLAY IS OVER